Salad jail is the detention facility for overindulged Christmas fatties. Sentences there are to be served without parole (or cake), and inmates do not receive (french fries or) time off for good behavior.
Salad jail is for those charged with receiving Christmas basket contraband such as cookie brickle, caramel popcorn, cherry kisses, salted nuts, brownie bites, truffles, Oreo balls, pecan pie, sausage, cheese, and Pepperidge Farm butterfly crackers.
Salad jail offers no conjugal visits for you and your lemon meringue pie.
Salad jail uniforms consist of breath-stealingly tight jeans and uncomfortably overstretched t-shirts.
Salad jail is the "Big House" for the Big Arse.
Salad jail houses detainees behind cell bars made of celery and carrot sticks - with no decorations save posters of the food pyramid.
Salad jail is hard time. Don't bend over for the chocolate covered strawberries.
Laughing my large and lovely off as we speak...maybe I won't have to be detained in Salad Jail after all!
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