Stinky Ears

Last evening, as Lita the Chihuahua/terrier lounged on her mouth-mounded blanket-bed in Ben's room, he was moved to pet her and to coo at her. But it is not easy to love on little doggies whose ears have been criminally neglected by their owners. The sort of neglect that causes a pungency cheese has failed to achieve in its long line of achieving pungency. So, shortly after kneeling to gently touch his cheek to Lita's tiny head, Ben quickly pulled his shirt up to cover his nose, and the following conversation took place:

Ben:  Achhauuuuacchl@@!!

Lita: ::::tail going all, "Thump thump":::

Ben:  If Lita wasn't so stinky, I'd let her sleep in my bed.

Me: You should give her a quick bath then.

Ben: (closely studying Lita's ears) Then I'd have to pick her up.

Me: You should've taken her in the shower with you wallago.

Ben: She's a girl.

Lita:  ::tail going all, "Does anyone have any jerky?"

Ben:  (sing songy) Who's a gooood girl? Who's a stiiinky girl?

Lita:  :::eyes going all, "What? A girl can't roll in rank junk and dead birds in the backyard anymore?"

Ben: (sing songy) "Who disgusts me? That's right! You!"

Lita:  :::tail thumping slower, "You're gonna put me outside with the hounds aren't you?"

Ben:  What's this thing on her back leg? Is that puss?

Lita: :::making a sound that can be loosely translated as "Hwaarck!".

Ben:  I would still let her sleep in my bed, but she's got some eye-pookie or something going on. On her eye.

Lita:  ::eyes going all, "This is not eye-pookie."

Ben: (Looking closer, puzzling) Wait. That is not eye pookie. It's.....a little.....is that a growth?!

Lita:  ::tail going all, "I thought we were having a snack?"

Ben: (jumping up) Okaaaayyyy! I need to go bathe again.

Lita: tail going all, "What? A girl can't have a few minor, possibly cancerous blemishes anymore?"

Ben: Where's my vitamins?! :::shaking several from the bottle into his mouth while crying.:::

Lita: ::tail going all, "Does anyone have any crackers to go with these ears?"