Sophistry

Whenever we stand staring at magazines by the checkout counter, I sometimes play a game:

If there is a cover (and there always is) of a particularly lovely young woman with flowing hair, a gloriously flat stomach, and pert.....things, I will say to the lovelies:

"Now, I did this shoot two months ago. Back when I was young and stupid."

or

"I dyed my hair blond for this one. I might try that again someday."

or

"Sigh. That was five pounds ago."

or

"I was supposed to look Spanish for this one. Nailed it!"

or

"I said no at first, but there was no one like me to pull it off. So......."

or

"I wasn't paid nearly enough for that. Don't plan on college."

or

"My tan was at its awesomest that summer. Though the string bikini hides some of it."

or

"In this one, I was going for 23. Nailed it!"

or

"Yes, children, I will do anything for money. And the problem is?

or

"Notice the artistry of the lighting. I hardly felt naked at all."

or

"Jealous? Of your own mother?"


Ben only responds with a superior stare, but Allie plays the game to the veriest bitter end. As a female, she knows how important fantasy is to a woman's concept of beauty (or a man's).

Either way, I'll keep doing those photo shoots - as long as I'm wanted.