Spring River, The

Each year, we canoe, swim, body surf, inner tube, and rope-swing our way down the Spring River. It is like a woodsy amusement park with shorter lines and better food. After a couple of days on the river, I am all healed up inside and all burned up outside. That is what the river is for - not for any of the other things they tell you in school.

This year, my canoe partner was the young Kevin James Brown. Since someone had to ride with the only mother present, he politely sacrificed himself, telling me he didn't even mind. I wondered if he was trying to convince me or himself. But he was wonderful, making the river fun with singing and make-believe. Gallantly, he "beasted" us off a wicked, rocky outcrop, declaring, "I'll get us off this bitch." He called happily to the members of our canoeing party; inquired solicitously about Jennifer's headache; and took upon his shoulders the responsibility of entertaining his friend's mother. He steered us right through an odd, fork-shaped opening in a tree, though no one even noticed. And he was the only person to spot a live alligator and kill a Chinese shark on the river that day.

Zach Williams amused us with his unbelievable rock-skipping skills. He could make a rock skip so many times we would actually lose count at the end. I squealed at every extra skip until Ben groused, "Mom! It's not a meteor shower!". At every swim break, Zach busied himself looking for treasure along the reedy, rock shelves. Once, he triumphantly held aloft a gold medal - which he proudly looped round his neck. He also manfully sacrificed himself by canoeing an inexperienced younger girl down the river when he wanted, instead, to canoe with his friend Luke.

Luke did the same, canoeing his younger sister down the river when he wanted, instead, to canoe with his friend Zach. I only wish Zach had found another gold medal for Luke; he deserved one for having to look at his sister's butt-crack all day. Luke guided us expertly over scarier rapids, making sure there was an experienced canoer in front and in back of all the losers in the middle. He stationed himself, along with Kevin James Brown, at the base of all the spills over which we body-surfed, and hauled us up and out of the rushing current. He was exhausted and injured from a summer's worth of super-hot work, yet he was our willing servant on the river.

At one swim stop, Allie's friend Mara Daniele and I coaxed each other into the frigid, freezing, icy river water, step by agonizing step. We counted "three" and plunged in to the neck, but could barely swim the distance due to cold and laughter. Laughter, because Mara was behind me panting and struggling and threatening to exit the water and walk the train tracks back to camp like a hobo "with one of those sacks".  

Her brother, Marco Daniele, amused us by trying to skip rocks like Zach Williams. He would choose these giant, cumbersome rocks, pretending he could really make it happen this time. He surprised us by ultimately mastering a three-skip throw. At one point, he lowered himself to sit under a massive sluice of foamy water, creating a large collar of it round his head. When he arose, the same sluice nearly divested him of his bottom-wear.

Ben canoed with Marco, but canoeing is a loose term here in that their canoe tumped over every two miles. Ben was quiet on this trip, having left the Spring River area only two weeks earlier. He told me it was just too soon to return -especially without Kit being able to attend this year.

When I found out Jennifer Helms was battling a headache, I was surprised. Surprised, because I had not heard her complain once. She steered the canoe she shared with Tori Williams, and mastered every rapid. She swam and smiled and surfed in that miserably cold river without a sign she was suffering. One moment, I would notice her shivering alone on a rock shelf, the next I would see her in the middle of the fray in the river. And she looked as beautiful as always - though I think she sacrificed by not wearing her bikini in front of her mother-in-law.

Allie worked as hard as Marco at mastering rock-skipping, and was never afraid to jump off into unknown murkiness. She did not complain of the cold, or shrink from it as the rest of us. But she is, according to her brother, an inept canoer. I felt particularly sorry for Allie on that trip because when we opened the lunch backpack, her sandwich was missing. (I had eaten it on the drive to the headwaters.)

By the time we returned to base, we were too worn to rope swing, so we just loaded up the cars and drove home. Everyone slept in piles of each other because all had foolishly stayed up too late the night before. Next year, we'll have our original hosts Kit and Lisa with us, and all will be well again.