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Sometimes I ask my children questions they can't answer, like: "Why did he kill his father?" or "Why did she leave before the party was over?". When they answer, "I don't know", I will ask, "Can you make something up?" Which always begins a windingly fabricated tale, prompting more questions from me.

Last night, when I was kneeling beside Allie's bed, she was reading Facebook statuses from her phone. She read aloud our friend Chelsea's status for the evening:  "Chelsea got carded to see an R-rated movie."

Me:    What movie was she carded for?

Allie:   (Irritatedly) I don't know.

Me:    Can you make something up?

Allie:   Well, Joey carted her into a movie tonight - in a shopping cart.

Me:    Did they go to the Malco?

Allie:  He parked his car at Target and drove the cart across the street to Malco.

Me:    They probably went to the one near Joey's place - by Walgreen's.

Allie:  So he carted her into the movies in a Walgreen's cart, and got her some popcorn and gummy worms and goobers.

Me:   Did he park her down front? Away from the other seats?

Allie:  Yes, then he sat up in the top seats. Away from her.

Me:    Jerk.

Allie:   I know. He should treat her better than that. Better than to leave her up front all alone.

Me:    He doesn't know how to treat a lady.

Allie:   But she found an old couple to talk to.

Me:    Good. Were they in shopping carts too?

Allie:   No, they were in wheelchairs.

Me:     I'm glad Chelsea wasn't lonely.

Allie:   But Joey did get her popcorn. He didn't have any popcorn because he brought in steak.

Me:    Did he have A-1 and a fork?

Allie:   Joey eats with his hands. At the counter, they asked Chelsea if she would like a bucket of bacon with her bucket of popcorn.

Me:    Yum!

Allie:   She said yes to that.

Me:    Did she have a blanket lining her cart? For comfort?

Allie:   A blanket and a pillow. She ate her popcorn and her bacon, and propped up on her pillow.

Me:    Did she take a bite of popcorn and then a bite of bacon each time?

Allie:   No. No one eats popcorn and bacon like that.

Me:     I would.

Allie:   They ate all their food before the movie even started.

Me:    Chelsea wouldn't do that. She's really skinny.

Allie:   She has a high metabolism. Or whatever it's called.

Me:     Yeah, it's metabolism.

Allie:   And the movie was scary so she peed her blanket a little. So she texted Joey up in the seats and said, "You carted me in here and I can't get out."  So he had to cart her to the bathroom. Then he left her there to run back and watch some of the movie.

Me:    He's so thoughtless and careless. I wonder why they're even together.

Allie:   So she gets back to the movie and eats her goobers. They were so big that when she threw one at the old lady she was talking to, it gave her a concussion.

Me:     I'm beginning to wonder. It sounds like you might be making this up.

Allie:    Why would I do that?

Me:      A person couldn't even get their mouth around a goober that big is why I'm wondering. It sounds far-fetched.

Allie:    You weren't there.

Me:      Okay, I believe you.

Allie:    So Joey carted Chelsea home after the movie.

Me:     I wonder if they liked the R-rated movie.

Allie:   It was a romance, so they liked it.

Me:    I thought it was a horror movie.

Allie:   It was horrible, so that's close.

Me:     I hope that old lady's all right.

Allie:   We could totally post on Chelsea's status, now that we know all the details.